costume day woes

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pondkid's avatar
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So, tomorrow is costume day at Blake.

I was really hesitant to post this journal because I'm afraid my Blake friends will yell at me for being lame, but I've been really stressed about this day for weeks.

Farquhar was different. I had friends on my bus and in all my classes, we were the oldest, we could do whatever we wanted, our out-of-placeness was heavily established, and I'd done it a million times before. 
At Blake, I'm the youngest. I have no friends on my bus or hardly any of my classes. I can't do whatever I want because my out-of-placeness isn't established at all. Not to mention this will be my first time cosplaying at school.

I feel really obligated to cosplay since it's costume day and all you guys will be doing it, but... well, I just don't want to show up to school like that. The only reason I cosplay is because I do it with friends in an environment where I feel okay.

This is.. totally different.

I'm just not that outgoing. I may have come off that way in eighth grade, but it's being suppressed again.

Blake is welcoming and all, but it's not the same.
Please don't yell at me if I don't show up in costume. And if I do, I'll probably bring the costume into school and change there. It'll be Rei or something like that.

I'm sorry, I really am.
It just makes me kind of sick to the stomach thinking about showing up to school in costume. I won't do something that makes me uncomfortable and I feel indirectly pressured by you guys to be crazy and out there and everything...

It's not your fault. Just please don't yell at me, or I think I'll cry or something. Please try to understand that I'm not outgoing at all. In fact I'm very shy. Please don't get mad at me.

See you guys tomorrow.
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dapplemii's avatar
wow Alice I'm soooo disappointed... that you went to Blake and not Sherwood. Actually no Blake is cool to have costume day. We had to wear class colors. Yay segregation!!!!